Friday, March 11, 2011

Express Yourself, Again.

While I have previously discussed the idea of awesome expressions that disappear (see: Express Yourself), I don’t feel like I have even scratched the surface of the world of slang, be it good or bad.  Please follow along with me, as I list some more words and expressions and explain why we need to work together to bring them back into circulation.

!) Bad.

I miss being able to say something is bad, to mean that it is good.  At some point someone thought bad-ass just made more sense, I guess.  Instead of “that’s a bad skateboard you got” it became “that’s a bad-ass skateboard you got”. Why?  What is this need to add 'ass' to everything.  Don’t we have enough 'ass' as it is (feel free to add whatever mental picture you want, whether it’s some Kardashian, a parade of Biggest Loser contestants, or some reality show about sexy people)?  Bad was doing just fine on its own, sans 'ass'.  This tends to happen with lots of words though.  Cheap becomes cheap-ass, lame is lame-ass and so on and so forth.  Drop the 'ass' act people. 

On a side note, do you think it was Michael Jackson that made everyone uncomfortable and in turn made it no longer cool to call something bad?  Too soon?

@) Bumblast.

On the topic of ass, we used to often employ the term bumblast.  Now it was generally used in derogatory schoolyard conversations attached to a lot of the other homophobic insults hat were thrown about so hastily back then and perhaps that was why it disappeared.  The homophobia needs to stay gone, but it is a shame, really, that we weren't able to hold on to 'bumblast'.  Because, rather than use this in a way like “oh yeah, well you and Max like to bumblast each other all night long” we could simply use it in a more adult conversation.

“I’m into anal.”

That doesn’t sound too appealing at all.  It sounds all icky and scientific.


Hell yes – sign me up, like a rocket to the moon! Now that sounds like fun.

#) Sucks the bag.

When something really sucks, we used to say that it 'sucks the bag'.  It’s brilliant because it leaves it up to you the listener to decide what kind of bag it actually is, what is contained within the bag, and how you would go about successfully sucking on it.  Is it the bag itself, or what is contained within the bag?  So many questions... If you have ever heard Louis CK’s routine about sucking a bag of dicks, you’ll understand the gist of what I am saying here.

How could we have let this one fade away? 

$) Poser.

I think poser died along with the grunge movement and the word ‘shaft’.  Essentially it means the same thing as phoney, but it just feels more insulting, doesn’t it?  I understood why ‘whigger’ died, because frankly, it is offensive on numerous levels, but poser is so wholesome and real.  There is something to be said about an insult that sounds so gentle and yet calls to question a person’s entire existence.

“Nice hat, poser.”

It’s like weenie (see: Weenie Roast) or party pooper.  It may sound wholesome, but no one wants to be one.

%) Japanimation.

At some point this became Anime, and personally I don’t think that it has the same ring to it, at all.  Japanimation doesn’t sound nerdy or dorky, it just sounds like exactly what it is.  It's fun to say, unlike Anime (pronounced like a Spanish word or something... what the fuck) or Manga or stupid words like that sound like something off of the periodic table of the elements, which in turn, makes them sound even nerdier and thus even lamer.  Maybe I just exposed my nerdiness by referring to the elements, but whatever.  At least I don’t watch Anime.  I watch Japanimation.

There are tons more trash talking words that I can think of that don’t get the airtime that they used to, like dickwad, shit for brains or numbnuts.  While I won’t get into every one of them here, do your best to revive cool old insults, expressions and slang.  Start with the ones I have discussed, but then, come up with your own list of forgotten gems that we can all work on together as one harmonious society.

That’s it.  I’ve got a big-ass headache.


  1. you can never go far wrong with a 'wanker'

  2. Please bring back BUTTMUNCH.

    Best. Insult. Ever.

  3. Stop bugging my happiness!

    I don't mean you obviously. You don't affect my happiness in a negative way. No it's an expression I miss.

    I can see why you would miss the ones that you've listed but as us Brits have never had most of them in the first place I unfortunately can't share your sorrow of those above.

    Rapunzel x
    *Tales from the Tower*

  4. I still say that stuff if bad ass. I feel I'm doing my part. :)

  5. I've never heard the phrase "sucks the bag", but a regular phrase in my world (which is a totally fun place btw) is telling someone that is being an asshat to go "eat a bag of dicks."
    "Oh shut up and go eat a bag of dicks, you fucktard."

    ALSO... the term "suck bag" among many of my friends refers to a person that is so beyond needy it's almost incomprehensible.
    "Did you see the way she was trolling for sympathy?! What a suck bag!"
    (also, often times just referred to as a "hoover.")

  6. i agree, too much ass. nowadays, everything gross looks like ass, smells like ass, tastes like ass. enough with the ass!! and please, pleeeaase ban the expression "i feel like a bag of smashed assholes". barf. what ever happened to "sickatating"? now that i can get behind.

  7. @manders: we used to use the expression, "She's as ugly as a hat of assholes." Graphic and gross, but oftimes dead-on.

    Asshat, assklown, assmunch, assmonkey.....
    Ah, the classics!
    When we were kids, we used to hurl the "you fag" insult at one another. Even though we really had no clue what it meant.

  8. i'm sorry that you have a headache. that sucks the bag :(

  9. Member schlong?
    Get it? Sorry. Dumb joke.

  10. Is Japananimation the one where all of the chicks wear tiny schoolgirl skirts and have monstrous boobs and there's a ton of graphic, graphic sex?

    Because if so... sign me up.

  11. wow i must be out of touch. I have never heard of "bumblast".

    but then again I am happy living in my sheltered world.
    Happy Happy Happy

  12. @Glen: Sadly, I don't feel that North Americans can pull off saying wanker without sounding like, well, a wanker.

    @Sara: Agreed. I also like incorporating Butt into other insults to make them all snazzy, like DickButt.

    @Rapunzel: I'll have to start using Stop Bugging My Happiness.

    @Paul: Now if only everyone would do their part.

    @Goofy: Never heard suck bag, that's pretty awesome though. It will definitely enter my rotation of insults.

    @manders: SICKATATING! Awesome. Makes me think of home alone, or uncle buck. Macauley Culkin basically. I'll work on that asshole one when I can.

    @Al: Yeah, WAY too much ass dude. And the "yu fag" definitely needs to stay gone. We were all a little guilty of that ignorance back then. Bumblast still should come back.

    @Kage: Well it's gone now. :)

    @Antares: I like sick, I also like wicked and nasty (those get thrown around a lot in Massachusstts).

    @dbs: Haha... MEMBER. For the record, my wife says schlong all the time. Sometimes she says schlong-a-dong.

    @Beer: Something like that. Usually there's telekinesis too.

    @Kitty: I wouldn't worry, most haven't... I'm starting to thinking I might have made it up back then.

  13. We should shorten it again, but not be obvious about it.

    "That's an ass skateboard you've got."

    I believe the bag being sucked came out of a box with "Summer's Eve" written on it, no?

  14. I was watching a very old videotape of myself the other day, and in it, I say "This room is bad."

    As in good.

    Granted, I was like 6 in the tape, but still. It was daunting hearing myself using the expression.

    I thought about this blog entry, which I had just read just before I saw the videotape.

    I think I used to call things "wicked," too.

  15. Another good use of bumblast: "Man, I just dropped a huge bumblast in the bathroom at work."

    Good times.

  16. BumBlast. Yes. That's the word.
    For the past few months a chinese guy's being trying to say something.. and i always thought it was about Him eating a Snake.
    This explains. :P

    And Poser :( it was so Goood. Bring it BACK.

    Bitchzilla on The loose.

  17. @Tatty: I don't care if it's obvious or not! I wanna call stuff bad again!

    @Katy: Wicked and Nasty are two ones I always heard my Massachusetts cousins say... I always tried to bring them up to Canada, but it never caught on. Now I'm down here, but no one says them anymore. I feel so cheated. Cherish that video.

    @GTDad: I'd say that's more of a BumBurst.

    @Bitchzilla: It was awesome, right? "Nice hat, fuckin' poser." So deeply satisfying.

  18. I miss the word 'hooptie' (never had to spell it before. Looks wrong)- as in, a complete piece of crap car.
    I'd like to still be able to have this conversation again:

    How are we getting to the mall?

    Jenna is taking us in her hooptie.

    Rad. Hope we make it.

    Those were special times. Also, why is there no Pakistanimation? Pakistan needs to step it up.