Friday, August 19, 2011

Writer's Block, Vol. V.

The end of a vacation is always so bitter sweet.  Sure, I’m glad that my cat’s not dead and seems to remember that I’m the guy that feeds him.  It’s also nice to be back in my own bed, where my pillow smells like my old gym socks and my wife and I know exactly how to angle the fan for a refreshingly pure and blissful sleep.  But that last day of vacation, when I’m back home and unpacking has that awful feeling that Sundays always had when I was a kid.

How can I enjoy today when there’s school tomorrow?

Whenever I get to work after a vacation everyone just seems so content in their office cocoon.  I feel like I’m missing out.  What do they know that I don’t?

It’s kind of like how growing up, all the other kids seemed to like ‘Winnie the Pooh’, but I found the entire ‘Pooh’ world to be thoroughly depressing.  Seriously, 'Eeyore' makes me want to kill myself.  I have vivid recollections of watching the cartoons and feeling sad inside.  James Taylor has the same effect on me.  Some people sit there finding his music toe-tappin’ and smooth, I find it pants-shittin’ and moldy.

And all the 'back-to-school' paraphernalia out there this time of year isn't helping.  On top of my current vacation withdrawal, my brain is flashing back to the dismal feeling of wonderful summers coming to a close and returning back to school, where I can get in trouble for speaking English in the halls.

Still, complaining about having a job definitely qualifies as complaining with my mouth full.  So I’ll shut up now, as it is rather impolite to talk with my mouth full, even if I’m still not sure whether or not I like the taste, or whether or not this particular mouthful will give me a heart-attack someday.  Or make me choke, right now.

I’m still hopeful that in the long run it makes me poop gold.

That’s it. My cubicle calls.


  1. Plus, nobody ever had the nerve to tell Pooh he wasn't wearing pants. On the other hand, he could've worn those girlie shorts Christopher Robin sported.
    So, it's probably good that he didn't wear britches. He was a manly bear.
    Who had no fingers, no discernible penis, and liked Hunny.
    Uh, oh.

  2. All the Back to School stuff makes me smile because the world will once again belong to the adults!
    Besides, new school year means new Trapper Keeper. Maybe you need a new Thunder Cats Trapper Keeper?
    And yes, Pooh is unbelievably depressing. That diabetic bear might be responsible for more therapy than alcoholic parents (maybe not).

  3. Your post made me think of Wordsworth -- "Shades of the prison house begin to grow about the growing boy" or something like that. Wordsworth was a pretty pants-shittin' dude.

  4. I know gold is worth more than money but I think I'd rather just shit money.
    P.S. I like the way you think.

  5. I am more mesmerized by your picture doodling than your back to school woes.

  6. I had similar feelings as a child. I'd get sick to my stomach Sunday night because I had school the next day. I wasn't even picked on or anything. I just knew that there was something I was supposed to do over the weekend that I forgot about and would get in trouble for it the next day. Also, I just didn't like going.

  7. When you are retired you'll wish you were still working.

  8. As much as I need the income, the idea of finding another job & going back to work eventually does give ma a slight pang of dread. Similar to what you're describing, actually.

  9. This is my fate, because I just wrote about Winnie in my last post. Also, I like to root for the underdog, so Eeyore is always under my protection.

  10. Doc says welcome back and fuck Sunday music.

  11. There is nothing more bittersweet than college breaks. Remember in high school when you got a week off, and then the summer was about two months? Well college gives you six weeks and then over three months, and then they want you to go back? I start back up in a week, and I am seriously contemplating running away to the the valleys to live among the hippies.

  12. You should just come and by a fly on the wall at my workplace for a few hours. You'd have plenty to write about.

  13. @Al: To that I say, OH BOTHER... :|

    @Pickleope: I was always more of a M.A.S.K. kind of guy. Or Bravestarr.

    @Debra: I will take that as a compliment, so thanks!

    @dbs: Bills would probably feel nicer on the way out than dubloons.

    @Nubian: Yeah, that kind of doodling definitely gets me in trouble in meetings at work...

    @Paul: Sunday blues are seriously the dumps.

    @Tony: I hope not.

    @Vinny: Lucky you... my wife is doing something similar, so I am quite jealous.

    @Lemons: I'd root for him too if I ever thought he would be happy. Things could go his way and he'd still be super depressed.

    @GameDoc: Thanks, and yeah, TOTALLY.

    @Penny: I wish I had. Cherish summers off. When you're a 'GROWN-UP' summer just means being stuck in a cube when it's nice out.

    @Kitty: Yeah, offices are amazing.

    @Sylar: Thanks!

  14. I know how you feel. I just got back from a trip/job interview and I can't write for anything. I finally got a post up, oddly enough, about Winnie the Pooh.

  15. There was that recent trailer for the new Winnie the Pooh movie that I'm pretty sure sent me into depression. Never got it, never will.

    I came back from a vacation in Chicago a week ago and I'm still down in the post-vacation dumps. I'm also very tired all the time. This is stupid.


  16. "Pants-shitting and moldy." I don't think I've ever heard something so accurately describe the music of James Taylor.

    Also, for me, the cartoon that made me sad was Garfield. He's fat, lazy, has no ambitions, eats all day, and is not funny. He's the typical American, and people love him. I found it to be an injustice of the world. Seemed no one agreed with my 7 year old self, since 20 year later, he's still around.

  17. i feel you. i have to go back to work tomorrow after a vacation and i cant think of anything but how much this sucks :)

  18. Yup. The ridiculously depressing anti-climax of a blissful vaca. But yes, I have trouble being thankful to have a job too.

  19. jervaise brooke hamsterSeptember 8, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    Kev, visit "The Pauline Hickey Fan Page" or "Pauline Hickey Vintage Porn" for dozens of naked images of one of the most incredible birds of all-time. Also, go to "Anal Base-POV Anal" and "Anal Base-Gaping Anal" for literally hundreds of movie clips and pictures of beautiful gorgeous sexy young girls being buggered senseless ! ! !.

  20. @Katamacci: I sometimes find that I write less when I have nothing going on, and write more when I'm super busy.

    @Lorraine: Yeah post vacation dumps are the worst. Well, the LITERAL dumps once back at home base are GREAT. But the psychological dumps, not so good.

    @Beer: Garfield is so sad. Garfield MINUS Garfield, however, is even sadder... but hilarious.

    @Major: Right on, Major.

    @Jules: Yeah, I need to remember that more, you know, being thankful.

    @JBH: FINALLY, someone who just gets me.

  21. Thanks for the update! Followed!

  22. jervaise brooke hamsterSeptember 8, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    Kev, would you agree that when Pauline Hickey was 17 in 1985 she was the most astonishingly gorgeous bird who has ever lived ?.

  23. How dare you talk about Pauline that way.

  24. jervaise brooke hamsterSeptember 8, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    I was simply compli-girl-ting the most unbelievable bird i`ve ever seen.

  25. That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Jervaise, I think the hamster might have burrowed it's way up from your anus to your brain, because you sound insane.

  26. Thanks lot for this useful article, nice post