tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post598230210382097692..comments2023-10-08T07:55:49.987-04:00Comments on Highway 10 Revisited.: It's Business Time.Kev D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13557162668726460610noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-36447200308429652692011-03-10T10:33:05.385-05:002011-03-10T10:33:05.385-05:00all good advice - don't forget to have a good ...all good advice - don't forget to have a good walk around the room before entering your stall if the place is empty. I made the mistake of diving straight in once and the "motion sensitive" lights failed to see me. this left me sat in the dark waiting for someone else to arrive.<br />When they did they must have been quite confused that the lights were off but the stall was engaged - right up until they heard me giggling. i have an all too distinctive giggle.Glenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11562111165943505509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-10181852739655618022011-03-10T09:13:12.589-05:002011-03-10T09:13:12.589-05:00@Basque: The Trombone Fart is definitely something...@Basque: The Trombone Fart is definitely something to be proud of, and they were right to show it off. Thanks for calling me delightful!<br /><br />@Dr: Well shit, thanks... does that mean I would get an A in your class?<br /><br />@Antares: I'm also able to leap small improv troupes in a single bound.Kev D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13557162668726460610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-50084850336715748612011-03-08T00:17:18.197-05:002011-03-08T00:17:18.197-05:00P.S. Let me know when you're touring.
I'm ...P.S. Let me know when you're touring.<br />I'm repeating myself, but you're faster than a speeding comedy bullet.Antares Cryptoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12197876328401157462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-51024206709816663452011-03-06T07:59:10.581-05:002011-03-06T07:59:10.581-05:00That opening paragraph is the stuff of literary ge...That opening paragraph is the stuff of literary genius. I bow to your power.Dr. Cynicismhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15685005782516868520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-88850318701238838462011-03-04T17:41:00.303-05:002011-03-04T17:41:00.303-05:00I come from a Mexican/Italian family and our famil...I come from a Mexican/Italian family and our family WAS so verbal, demonstrative, loud mouthed, unprivate, impolite, and shaming about farting and crapping. My Italian grandpa lived with us and that man farted liked a trombone and it did not matter who was in the house (like our boyfriends when we were 15). OMG you brought it all back, what a delightful blog, tee hee.Basque-Landhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04831826411062363382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-62866056253181334282011-03-03T15:23:21.662-05:002011-03-03T15:23:21.662-05:00@Beer: My problem is I always gotta go in the afte...@Beer: My problem is I always gotta go in the afternoon... That janitor sounds like he might have something in common with KittyCat.<br /><br />@Al: The Doc said it all.<br /><br />@Lorraine: I'm working on the trademark for Poop Shoe... but NO I would never forget you!<br /><br />@Sara: You mean the papercut part or the... hamster????<br /><br />@Doc: Agreed.<br /><br />@Tatty: I was just wondering the other day about what store owners did in that case... and yes, Poop Shoes are always useful, AND fun.Kev D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13557162668726460610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-27428728258486809232011-03-02T22:54:00.218-05:002011-03-02T22:54:00.218-05:00I used to work in an office next door to a guy who...I used to work in an office next door to a guy who would come over and say he was closing his shop for half an hour to go to the bathroom, and that he put a note on the door telling delivery people to leave their parcels with me. That was a man who didn't need no pooping stealth shoes!<br /><br />I, on the other hand, will be getting a pair. I work from home, but hey, any excuse to go shoe shopping.tattytiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18408220720084181008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-17409139827258782862011-03-02T21:27:36.032-05:002011-03-02T21:27:36.032-05:00@Al Penwasser: "Plus, when I started moving t...@Al Penwasser: "Plus, when I started moving that round tube toward the "exit", my kids' hamsters got all excited." Nothing witty, I just think that's hilarious.TheGameDocIsInhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04517088054758135619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-68020050086993646932011-03-02T17:37:49.052-05:002011-03-02T17:37:49.052-05:00This post was so hilarious that I tweeted about it...This post was so hilarious that I tweeted about it and then forgot to leave a comment. <br /><br />I'm with Al about the toilet paper roll. It hurts, but you gotta do what you gotta do.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08045936037411000349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-36128943206483065172011-03-02T17:18:39.398-05:002011-03-02T17:18:39.398-05:00I never talk about poop. Like, hardly ever. I can&...I never talk about poop. Like, hardly ever. I can't do it. I don't even poop. It's a genetic trait of awesome where I just don't even need to. Do you buy that? No?<br /><br />Fine. I still won't talk about it. If I did though, I'd say probably what you've said in this post except less funny and with no poop shoes, because OH MY that's genius and only you could've come up with that. Only you. <br /><br />Remember me when you're super totally famous, okay?Lorrainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04298599423708752471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-77377852050594169442011-03-02T16:13:34.925-05:002011-03-02T16:13:34.925-05:00I forgot about using the cardboard tube! I may ha...I forgot about using the cardboard tube! I may have suppressed it, though, after that nasty "papercut" incident. Plus, when I started moving that round tube toward the "exit", my kids' hamsters got all excited.<br />Tell the Duckwalk story!!!Al Penwasserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14052950809151897315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-60403708958301301442011-03-02T15:33:42.660-05:002011-03-02T15:33:42.660-05:00This is the exact reason I was always the first on...This is the exact reason I was always the first one to come into work (not hard, all of my coworkers were lazy bums who came in after noon). By coming in at 8, I solidified a 4 hour window of solitude in the bathroom should I ever have needed it.<br /><br />That is, until the lazy janitor caught onto this. Not only would he be there, first thing at 8 'o clock in the morning, he would lock ALL the other stalls. And just sit there. In complete solitude. For hours and hours. Fucking off on his phone. And not letting anyone else enter.<br /><br />I wasn't going to stand for this. See, the other side of the locking mechanism was held in by a flathead screw, so if you have a screw driver, you can twist open the lock from the outside. Stupid design, right? Not if you're an asshole like me.<br /><br />Each time he did this, I walked in, unlocked every single one of them (including his), cracked the door open slightly to let him know they were truly unlocked, and then just walked out.<br /><br />I only had to do this twice before he stopped coming to our floor altogether. <br /><br />And I, well, I enjoyed my solitude... until the unemployment monster snagged me.A Beer for the Showerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17029139745335325356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-32511455834929737512011-03-02T08:34:39.573-05:002011-03-02T08:34:39.573-05:00@Katie: Not many do, we need to start getting the...@Katie: Not many do, we need to start getting the word out (maybe give me the credit though... haha)<br /><br />@Antares: Hapee 2 hellip.<br /><br />@Al: Best comment of all time. Also, forget using the little scraps stuck to the tube, just use the tube. As for the Duckwalk, I have a friend who has the greatest story ever with regards to that. I'll try to buy the rights to it from him and then maybe mention it in some kind of "It's Business Time Addendum". Thanks for the laughs.<br /><br />@dbs: Well it SOUNDS like you meant it as a very nice compliment after all... so thank you kind sir, for your lovely words of encouragement. Also, your family reunions must be bonkers.<br /><br />@TheGameDoc: I assume that you know where the inspiration for my paring knife reference came from :) ... also... AMAZING STORY. If I was teh janitor I would have taken pictures.Kev D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13557162668726460610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-23347087618887673272011-03-01T21:25:57.952-05:002011-03-01T21:25:57.952-05:00I clogged the toilet at work and poop water AND po...I clogged the toilet at work and poop water AND poop came out. It was my first week. The janitor saw my horrified face and almost died laughing. I once had to crush a lincoln log with an empty tp roll to get it down, felt like I was cutting dried up playdough in Kindergarten.TheGameDocIsInhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04517088054758135619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-74368306222518576102011-03-01T21:08:29.160-05:002011-03-01T21:08:29.160-05:00I would never want to hurt your self esteem. Let m...I would never want to hurt your self esteem. Let me try to explain. I love all things Scottish and I love a good honest discussion about the fact that everyone poops, even the Queen. Fat Bastard of Austin Powers fame is one of the funniest characters I have ever encountered mostly because he is Scottish, he is obsessed with poop and he reminds me of every one of my uncles and their unintentional hilariousness. Therefore your post was on par with or perhaps even exceeded the Fat Bastard's hilariousness and in my world that is a very, very good thing.<br />Hopefully this makes sense.DB Stewarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484034493143850659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-45196454128769531582011-03-01T18:48:10.093-05:002011-03-01T18:48:10.093-05:00Thanks for the "How-To", but you left ou...Thanks for the "How-To", but you left out one part of the "Lavatorial Pre-Flight": make sure there actually is paper available before you plop your hairy behind on the throne and DEFINITELY before you squeeze one out. If you fail to do so, you're left with...<br />1. Ask a neighbor (next stall over-not Gladys Kravitz) for some paper. But, I'm thinking this is a serious "Guy Faux Pas."<br />2. Try to pull some of the little scraps still glued to the cardboard tube. This will usually end up very very messy.<br />3. Pull your pants halfway up and duckwalk into the next (empty!) stall. But, this can be bad if anyone walks in.<br />4. Pulls scraps of paper from your wallet. If you MUST use a plastic card, use your COSTCO membership card. Which you will then throw away.<br />5. Say screw it and be "Stinky Pete" all day.<br />sincerely,<br />A. FrontwiperAl Penwasserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14052950809151897315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-83299410390553410952011-03-01T18:01:44.456-05:002011-03-01T18:01:44.456-05:00Deer mister kavn
tank uu fo helpin me. befor i me...Deer mister kavn<br /><br />tank uu fo helpin me. befor i met u i had difflicultiees. teh big wheite ting was werry scari.Antares Cryptoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12197876328401157462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-65946773070410172272011-03-01T15:56:19.120-05:002011-03-01T15:56:19.120-05:00Poop shoes.
I will be purchasing some of those ton...Poop shoes.<br />I will be purchasing some of those tonight.<br />How did I not know about this? Genius!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528484098724947814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-64035366261105076992011-03-01T15:00:32.067-05:002011-03-01T15:00:32.067-05:00@ab: In the movies, the Mexican Standoffs are alwa...@ab: In the movies, the Mexican Standoffs are always so quiet, a good ol' fart noise is the best way to break that silence, I say.<br /><br />@Kage: There is nothing sexier than a colostomy bag.<br /><br />@Steph: Laughter in a dark quiet house can be scary, thankfully, yours was not an evil laughter... I hope.<br /><br />@dbs: I'm really not sure how to take that... have you been conspiring with my wife to hurt my self esteem?<br /><br />@Vinny: If we all work together, maybe one day...<br /><br />@Penny: I don't think it's comfortable for anyone, but, I can't NOT go, out of fear of internal explosions and external smells.<br /><br />@Sarcasm: Thanks! If everyone does their part...<br /><br />@Amber: Ah yes, Sassy Curmudgeon... that is one funny lady. Highly recommended...<br /><br />@Annah: Yeah, I don't mess around. Don't get shoes that are too unlike your own, that would be a dead giveaway when you are on your way there.<br /><br />@Hannah: If we get enough requests, I'm sure we can get a good deal at Staples. It would need diagrams though...<br /><br />@Jennifer: Loving hard is the only way to love. thanks for that! I hope I don't let you down.<br /><br />@KittyCat: Assuming you sit on the can for that, isn't that even nastier? Won't you eventually associate toilets with orgasms? The next step is Golden Shower, and from there, it's a downward spiral, really...<br /><br />@Goofy: I suggest saving one for the end of the day... OVERTIME.Kev D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13557162668726460610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-67138923344130994832011-03-01T14:50:45.165-05:002011-03-01T14:50:45.165-05:00You had me at "poop shoes."
I always l...You had me at "poop shoes." <br /><br />I always like to remind my friends that when you poop at work... technically you are being paid to poop. Kinda makes the job seem a bit more awesome, eh? ;)GoofyGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15623089911696360575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-85885163562326186932011-03-01T14:45:24.368-05:002011-03-01T14:45:24.368-05:00That is just nasty.
but i have to say while i dont...That is just nasty.<br />but i have to say while i dont take a shit at work, i do take breaks and get off at work with my vibrator. some times you just need to have a nice "O" to get thru the rest of the day.KittyCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07089609329002975320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-8151669844437245832011-03-01T14:40:01.456-05:002011-03-01T14:40:01.456-05:00I love this post so hard. I had to become a follow...I love this post so hard. I had to become a follower. If this is any indication of what the rest of your blog is like, sign.me.upJennifer Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01994160105077916483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-73057717705210724072011-03-01T13:24:23.666-05:002011-03-01T13:24:23.666-05:00Oh my God! I am laughing so hard right now I think...Oh my God! I am laughing so hard right now I think my son is scared of me. This was so funny. I think it should be turned into a poster and hung up in every office bathroom!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05613507467597250402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-47428095580056226942011-03-01T13:04:33.574-05:002011-03-01T13:04:33.574-05:00Stand up and wipe? Holy shit you take no prisoners...Stand up and wipe? Holy shit you take no prisoners!<br /><br />Now I have to go buy spare shoes for work.Annahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16488483947168168144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201388071982545084.post-86114279767575776982011-03-01T10:55:06.128-05:002011-03-01T10:55:06.128-05:00Thanks for all the advise. Luckily, We have a priv...Thanks for all the advise. Luckily, We have a private bathroom in our office that is reserved for the four people who work there. Unfortunately, we know each other too well and I can tell who was in there last by the smell of their poo... yep, I just went there. <br /><br />The ladies might enjoy this little nugget of internet wisdom about "the poop stall"... http://volcanicensemble.blogspot.com/2010/07/poop-stall.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com